Fake Art

Is something art if anyone can do it?

I was reading this thread on the usually interesting Hicks Design Journal pages yesterday and was struck with annoyance. If you haven't clicked the link he's talking about some 'art' a friend of his made by stretching a tiny portion of an image so that it becomes stripes in a natural colourway. Pretty—I'll admit—but hardly 'art'. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of Photoshop can do these so either Siobahn (the artist) is a little naïve, simply pretentious or so full of ego she thinks that because she's done what any 1st Year arts student could do it somehow elevates it to the podium of Artistic Merit™. Whichever way—I could rustle these off at a rate of about 10 an hour but would never have the audacity to call it art.

It's this easy:

1) Get an image; A nice photo off Flickr maybe.
2) Select a 1px row in it
3) Crop it so that it’s one px high (or wide)
4) Resize the height (or width) so that it stretches the 1px to a reasonable stripe.

That’s it. Not art. Simply process. I’d be a millionaire if this was art.

The image in this post (click if for bigger) took me 5 minutes last night as I did a little graphics 'show and tell' with the Mighty Boosh image below to illustrate my aggrievance to The Wordsmith. Just don’t show it to Peter Saville… :)

Tags:ArtPhotoshop

The Moon; The Main Moon!

Come with us now on a journey through time and space...

How better a way to round off the end of one’s penultimate week in full time work than a night of grade-A+ fun and silliness from the master purveyors—Vince Noir, Howard Moon, Bollo and Naboo aka The Mighty Boosh..?

A long gig, a new(ish) story and lots of ad-libbed banter, it was just what the doctor ordered. I’m so glad they did extra dates as it looked like we wouldn’t get the chance to see them... Makes me wander what they must have been like all those years ago when they started at the Hen & Chickens pub, Highbury Corner... I was probably in there one night.

Sitting down at Brixton Academy. There’s a new experience too! Oh and we saw Sir Chris of Morris on the way out looking clearly as if he’d had a good night too. Tall man. Wiry hair!.

If you are reading this and are thinking “Who...?” then get with the programme! TMB is the best surreal comedy since early Vic and Bob. Beautifully silly, charmingly performed and wrapped in it’s own internal logic—I defy you to watch more than two episodes and not be converted! Watch some! Listen to the radio show! I promise you won't be disappointed...

Official Site

Tags:Mighty Boosh

Podcasting = Bandwidth

I knew this before I started but never really expected that more than a few friends would listen to my podcast. Anyhow—it’s kind of taken off in its own small way and would be costing me a small fortune in server bills to carry on hosting them, were it not for Phil over at Loudish.com who has very generously given Bontempi Radio Köln space on their servers so it can continue its arc of shambolic eclectic nonsense.

Hats off to you sir! Brilliant...!

Hopefully sometime soon there will be an easy way of combining RSS podcast feeds with BitTorrent so listeners can share the weight of hosting the shows they listen to, but it looks for now like this will only continue in the peripheries of the file-sharing community, and not just yet in user friendly consumer apps like iTunes.

Easter, Kites, Chicks and Blodwen

Sometimes you can have a great weekend.

Well back at work today for the last two weeks before the big wide chasm of no-work-cos-it’s-better-to-have-a-big-sabbatical—and what a great easter weekend. Caught a train up to Broxburn with Sid and Nancy and then had a nice ride up the Leigh Navigation—saw swans, boats, Essex hot-rods and a very cute toddler in the pub who insisted on pressing her nose up to the glass of the window from which she was mugging to the point where snot was smearing across the glass. It was cute — you just had to be there really.

Went south to Winchester for Owen (my brother’s) birthday/easter — falling on the same day and had a pretty idyllic time. One of those weekends where you fit loads in but somehow it all feels pretty chilled out and effortless. Had nice walk along the top fields along from where they live (to a pub naturally) seeing moorhen chicks not much bigger than a sooty cotton-wall ball and swans building their castle-like nests along the way. More attention from an adventurous young one in the pub - probably picking up on the mum-gene Becky must be emitting being six months gone with baby right now. She’s looking well on it though. Then out for yummy Nepalese food in the evening, then one of those nights with a bit of booze and a great record collection where the music and conversation become one and the same. My tune of the night must have been the french version of "Why are you being so reasonable now?" by the Wedding Present which I’d never heard and cite as a sad ommission from the last Bontempi Podcast french edition.

Then Kites. Post to a hangover-killing Smoothie and Nurofen breakfast™ and a ’last ride before we sell it" blast in the F1-sounding DelSol (roof off and scarily fast — naturally) we headed out to Watership Down to fly a kite. No bunnies. They have a cool parachute-like stunt kite that makes great noises and flies really fast. Kites are a hugely underrated activity and I regretted not having the one Ben so cleverly bought me several years ago with me. Perfect day for it too - not too windy (though this kite could take a small child on a journey across the channel in the same breeze) and the first day so far this year where it felt fine not to have a coat. Fabulous. Got to drive their T25 Camper home — sort of a test drive as they’ve offered to lend it us for a spell over the summer which will be cool. Bit of a learning curve. Imagine the most accurate, nimble, manouverable vehicle you have ever driven and invert that feeling. I now know what it’s like to pilot an oil tanker! But fast, spacious—and brilliant that we can borrow it. How much are reconditioned Subaru drivetrains…?

The Difficult Podcast Number Six is taking a little time as rebuilding Sarah’s Peugeot (aka Theony Cotterpin) is taking up some of the finite time I have before I finish at Atticmedia and I haven’t really got to grips with a good flow of music for this one yet. The fact I got a £98 fine from my provider for bandwith excess (oops) is making me think maybe I should slow to a monthly event unless my mystery backer makes good with the offer of free bandwidth he’s offered. (Are you there Phillip?! ;) So watch this space, but don’t hold your breath. And if you heard my last podcast in a bar in Edinburgh — Hope you enjoyed it! I’m available for parties, weddings and bar mitzvahs as of the 1st May... ;)

Tags:VW CamperNepaleseKites

All my own fault

Ten years of neglect comes to a head

I went to the dentists today after The Writer got me an appointment because a tooth had gone a bit awry with a big ole cavity. I grew up in a town where they put flouride in the water and never had a filling as a kid—so I suppose I got a bit cocky and felt like my gnashers were invincible. Men are crap at preventative health care. We never go to the doctors until an actual limb is hanging off and it’s the same with the dentist. So now Jilly Goulden Lookalike Dentist Lady has had a look and fired x-rays at my jaw and the decade+ of neglect is going to equal a lot of work and take about a miiiilleeon dahlllaaars from my bank account for the privilege.

I’m not asking for sympathy - it’s my own silly fault. If I'd gone annually like they say I'm sure I’d be in a better place. Ah my old friend hindsight...I guess I'm just saying so anyone that’s reading this and is thinking ‘maybe I should go soon’ really goes soon. You know it makes sense. Even if you are allergic to the smell of mouthwash and powdered enamel.

Tags:Dentistry